if you don’t like something in your life change it

Sitting in my apartment earlier today I started thinking about the past few days. This has been an especially fun and eventful weekend. There was a 2-day music festival down here that I went to both Friday and Saturday. I met a ton of people who I think I will establish really good relationships with -- friendships and possibly more. 

But also this afternoon, for the first time, I started to be really sad to not be in Virginia. It wasn’t that I was homesick or even nostalgic. I was just thinking about friends and fun fall activities that I have enjoyed so much over the past few years and just felt sort of bummed out. I asked a friend of mine down here if there were any fun “fall-y” activities we could do today or next weekend; she told me she couldn’t really think of anything, though she offered up that the leaves would be changing soon.

I was in the middle of about ten different text conversations with friends across the east coast and for a split second I could sense myself teetering on the edge of getting upset. Then I decided that nothing I was doing was actively helping me change my feelings in that moment. I decided what I was craving was at least partially achievable. I put on a flannel shirt -- a staple fall article of clothing for me -- along with some sandals since it was almost 80 degrees in Georgia and decided I would go to a consignment shop that I had been wanting to visit. 

Getting out of my apartment was just what I needed. Along with a super cute DVF top that  got for $11 (!!) I ended up catching myself before I slid into some strange feelings this afternoon.

Cute with black skinny jeans & flats right??

That’s what you do when you’re not totally happy with your situation: change it; make it work for you. Often that involves taking an active role and it also often involves an adjustment, even if just a mental one. But you can control it, just make it work for you. 

When friends of mine complain about their jobs, things falling apart in a relationship, or a general feeling of being left behind, I empathize with them. But what I cannot understand or empathize with is the refusal to change something. It’s always been pretty simple to me: if you are not happy with something in your life change it.

I don’t claim to be totally immune to wallowing, in fact I tend to pine and/or dwell on things longer than most. But I am self aware of this and I also am a big believer in taking the bull by the horns and taking control of what you can control in your own life. 

For me something that I had to take control over was the fact that I was becoming less and less happy with the life I was living in the DC area. While steady and generally fine my job was no longer challenging, and while I was nearby some of the people who I love and cherish the most, I needed to a new area to explore, and to explore myself in a way. 

Some people may have seen it as running away. Sometimes I wonder if in a sense I did run away; maybe I was expecting too much from my job, maybe I couldn’t accept that some friendships had changed or that certain relationships were not where I wanted them. But regardless of if I had stayed put or had moved someplace else, I wasn’t going to accept not being happy.

Don’t be afraid of change. Don’t be afraid of being happy. Make your life work for you. It might be hard but promise you’ll be happier and you’ll have earned the right to be proud of yourself for owning your own life.