making decisions: the importance of knowing what’s important to you

I moved earlier this month. Again. This is the 4th time that I’ve moved in 15 months. That’s all I’ll say about that. 

So why did I move? I had a really nice apartment, I was centrally located so I had great access to all the areas of Atlanta where I spend much of my time, plus moving is the worst. 

It’s pretty simple: I wasn’t able to walk anywhere from my old apartment.

If you’re familiar with Atlanta this is pretty common. Much of the city isn’t walkable. There are a handful of neighborhoods that are (Virginia Highlands, Inman Park, and Midtown, where I now live) but other major areas (Buckhead, Peachtree Hills, Brookhaven) are not. I knew this moving to the city and I had gotten pretty used to driving or taking Uber everywhere. So how and why did this become something that was so important to me that I would subject myself to yet another move? 

It wasn't until just a few months ago when a close friend was visiting me that I realized this was really bothering me and the first time I first realized I could pretty easily change it. It wasn't any earth shattering conversation but having an external party who I trusted and who knew me to help me extract and identify my prioritizes was really key for me. 

The challenge was that many of the places that are pedestrian friendly have low inventory and pretty high demand so I had to move quickly. I also had to prioritize what I was looking for in the actual unit. But after I acknowledged that my main goal was to move somewhere that was walkable my other priorities like having a gym, pool, washer/dryer, dishwasher, staying within my budget, having a balcony, distance to my office and so on, fell into their placed and were reordered accordingly and pretty easily. 

So what happened? How's my apartment? I landed in a new place within my budget, in the exact area I wanted, with all the amenities I wanted, that is except for a balcony.

Almost two weeks ago while I was unpacking and settling into my new place I felt these happy, proud feelings wash over me. I started to think about how fortunate I was that I come to this realization, that I had found a place in my ideal location within my budget, with nearly all my desired amenities all relatively quickly. Then I paused. It was more than simple fortune that led me to this new physical place in life. I had been very deliberate. I had done my research. I had been both diligent and realistic in my search. Most importantly I had taken the time to consider what I really wanted and prioritized accordingly. 

Easy right?

It was. So why not apply this focused approach in other areas of life? Why not employ this self-awareness and act deliberately in all facets of life.

As I through the steps that I took when prioritizing and then acting deliberately in my apartment search I realized these are really quite basic, but important.

Now it's easy to think about this for an apartment hunt. Priorities are things like location, amenities, price, etc. But surely the core of this concept is transferable. 

So what were they again?

1. Think about what you want. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well it is. What do you want? Great, that's your answer. Really, that's it. In whatever area of life it is, just think about what you want
2. Is this realistic? One of the things I want is a million dollars but that likely won't appear out of thin area. 
3. Not sure what you want? This is a critical piece of this exercise but you're not alone if you're just not sure. Don't be shy about talking it through with someone else; choose someone who knows you well and open up to him or her. This was invaluable for me in this scenario along with tens of others I've experienced and I'm sure ones that you've experience. 
4. Prioritize. What do you want most? This might be an exercise in getting to know yourself a bit but prioritizing your priorities is part of being a realistic adult. 
5. Go. Do it. Seriously. 

Again, any and all facets of life would benefit from more prioritization. What are some examples? Knowing and assessing your priorities when considering something big like taking a new job, or moving to a new city. Maybe you really want to be in New York City but this particular opportunity would require a pay cut or perhaps the role would be a lateral move and you want something a little higher so you decide to wait; that's okay. Or how about something as seemingly basic as deciding how you will spend your Friday evening-- do you want to go out or do you want to order Thai food and sit on your couch? It might not seem like it but this is both an ongoing question I face in my life and something I find far too many of my friends exert energy thinking about, actually worrying about. Setting your priorities straight will really help. 

At the end of the day with these and many personal decisions, there's no right or wrong answer. As long as you take the time to assess your own wants and needs then make your decision(s) based on that you're choosing the best thing for you. 

So get going. Get thinking and prioritizing and start moving through your life with focus and purpose. 

Back to YOU season

It's back to school season and even if you're not a student or don't have a student in your household it's a great time of year to reset, reground, and re-energize yourself in any and all areas of your life. Think of it as getting back-to-you.

So where to start? Here are some ideas:

Health & fitness

Despite the fact that summer is bathing suit season it's common to have such full schedules to actually gain weight over these summer months. Maybe you've over-indulged just a little bit at all those BBQs or maybe you've been slacking on your gym routine because you have happy hours every night of the week. Take a moment to redefine and realign what you want your health routine to include. This spans physical, mental, emotional-- everything! Think about what you want your health and fitness routine to look like, figure out where it falls on your priority list and reset yourself to start making it happen!

Environment

Your surroundings impact you more than you may realize. And since this is the time of year when college students are going back to their schools and moving into new apartments or dorms, it's a natural time to reconsider your space. Changing out a few pieces in your home or at your desk can really change things up and make things feel fresh and new. This is can also be a good time to do some purging. Getting rid of excess items can do wonders to refresh and rejuvenate you. Don't forget to donate pieces that are in good condition!

Finances

Ahh summer spending. It can be hard to stay on track with your budget and financial goals when there are so many patios with drink specials, concerts, trips, and events going on. Not to mention all those weddings! This is a good time of the year to take a good look at your spending and reassess your budget and goals. Not to jump from 80 degrees and sunny to snow so soon but the holidays are coming up as will holiday spending; taking time to get yourself into a good spot financially now will help set you up for success when the season of giving comes around.   

Relationships

A major reason why we all get out of bed in the morning is for our loved ones-- family, friends, significant others. Most of these relationships add value to our lives but sometimes, like all other moving parts of our lives, there can be ups and downs. I like to take some time to think about how and with whom I am spending my time. Am I spending my time with those who I love and love me? Am I over-extended? Are my relationships fulfilling and inspiring or are they draining? Time is our most precious commodity and using is wisely is essential; key to this is our own self-assessment of how we spend it.

All these elements add up

All of these things and more add up to comprise our lives. Take time to make this back-to-school season a back-to-you season and take an inventory of how you're living and operating and if you need to adjust anything. Think about how you'd like to be sending your time, money, energy. Then do it!  

Atlanta-versary

Last Sunday marked my one year anniversary of moving to Atlanta. I celebrated by having the same dinner that I had on my first night in the city: a salad from the Whole Foods salad bar.

A lot has happened over the past 12 months. I've taken 18 flights, lived in 3 different apartments, and spent time in 13 different states.

I've had 3 different managers, paid off 1 more student loan, and have had my credit checked over 5 times.

I've been in 2 different weddings, celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday as well as my parents 30th wedding anniversary. I've gone on 10 first dates, 5 second dates, and, well, the numbers get increasingly unimpressive so I'll stop there.

There are some things I'm especially proud of. I stood up a cross-functional culture team at my company, drove through the state of Utah by myself, and had some difficult conversations (both with others and myself) that I would have previously shy-ed away from. 

I've done some dumb things too. Some really, really dumb things. I've done some pretty annoying things also. Like when I had to sleep in an airport overnight (read that tale here), scratched my car door in my own parking garage, and bought a concert ticket for the wrong day.

I've put my foot in my mouth a lot more than I would have liked but rather than obsess over each time I've thought through the experience, processed it, accepted it, and moved on.

Progress.

The whole year has been progress and isn't that what growth and learning is all about? This past year I've learned so much. I've learned that it's okay to put my foot in my mouth (sometimes) and that it's important to not beat myself up over it.

I've learned that paying for a gym membership or classes that really push you are worth it; at least as you get older and live in a not-so-walkable city.

I've learned that sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut. When you can you should help others. And while sometimes helping others might be a big task or ask sometimes it can be as simple as just listening to someone or returning a text message. Don't discount how important your time, perspective, or just a listening ear can be to someone else. 

I've learned that there are so few instances in life when you should really be upset or angry and that facing things with calmness and a clear head is the best way to approach anything.

It's been a wonderful 12 months to say the least, and I have high hopes for my second year in Atlanta. Stay tuned for updates on life in the south, travel plans for the rest of the month, others musings as I grow and evolve-- and unavoidably put my foot (or feet) in my mouth time and time (and time) again.