My first taste of solo international travel

I have a fair amount of solo travel, both domestic and international, planned for the rest of the year. And while I have flown, driven, trained -- you name it -- alone quite a bit I really haven't done much travel when I've been alone for the whole or even a good chunk of the main trip.


This past week I got my first taste at some limited solo international travel. I was in Punta Cana for my cousin's wedding Wednesday through Sunday. And while I spent a majority of time with family and friends, I spent a fair amount by myself as well. There were a few specific things I did alone that really got me thinking about my upcoming plans.  


Overall it made me even more excited for my other upcoming journeys but at the same time gave me a little bit of trepidation. What do I mean? Where here are some parts of my recent trip that really stood out.
 
The Arrival
There's something uniquely depressing about arriving in the airport of a resort city alone; most of the other people are either traveling in couples on a romantic getaway or in large friend groups or as families. It's one of those times when you're acutely aware that you're alone, even if you're going to literally be with tens of close family members within a matter of hours like I was.

Don't believe me? Think about that moment when you walk off a plane and feel the hot, beach air hit your face (or maybe it's cool, mountain air); you can't help but smile as you envision yourself basking in your vacation. But then you meet the very next moment when you normally would say to your travel companion(s), "I'm SO excited!!" That's when you realize it's just you.


Being off the grid
If you're traveling internationally and are being mindful of not incurring hundreds of dollars in data and messaging fees you probably use your phone a lot less. I had planned for this and wasn't all that worried about it. Though as I waited in line for immigration and watched everyone else chattering excitedly I found myself paralyzed. That is, my natural instinct to grab my phone and text a friend or open some social media or simply reload my email once more was unavailable to me.


At first it was striking how alone I felt without the security blanket of being in the middle of multiple text conversations with friends for company. Though this quickly became wonderfully freeing.


Staying at a hotel alone
The last thing that really stuck with me were the puzzled looks I repeatedly received when I told the hotel staff that it was "just me" when asked about the number of guests in my room. While this really only happened at check-in and check-out I did return to my hotel room each day and night alone.


The peace and quiet was often welcomed but there were some moments when I wished I was spending this downtime with a travel companion.


So what does all this mean? Should you be scared off from solo travel? No. It's certainly not for everyone but neither are skinny jeans or yoga (two things I personally enjoy very much).


Any kind of travel has wonderful moments but also some annoying and less than ideal ones; it's sort of part of it. Solo travel is no different. But at the end of the day every experience offers something to learn and cool challenges to overcome. So pack up your bags and pull up your big girl or boy pants and break out alone, or don't and just read about my travels here.

Learning to Listen More: Day 22 of an Atlanta Traffic Experiment

Last week I wrote about how I slid back slightly when my mom was visiting my a few weeks ago. I saw how my impatience impacted others and not really in a positive way (read about that here).  

This week I've noticed something on the other end of the spectrum, that is on a "positive/negative" spectrum. I've noticed that my heightened awareness of self has made me a better listener.

 

Yes, sure, it's just been three weeks so the duration of this experiment and this assessment might be a little loose. But in seemingly trivial conversations with friends and family and coworkers I have found myself much less interested in ensuring that my "story" or antidote gets voiced. Even with people I don't know all that way (e.g., on dates, meeting friends of friends) when it's necessary to share things about yourself I haven't been as concerned with it. Sure I still contribute to the conversation and share about myself but I don't have the sense that I have to share topic or thought XYZ immediately.

 

This made me consider how I engage in conversations. I once read something from a very talkative person (I forget who, no this "person" isn't me) who often found themselves thinking about what they'd say next during a conversation when the other person was talking rather than listening. While I don't think I've ever really done this fully I am sure a part of me has. I know there have been instances when I have had points or stories that I've wanted to bring up since I knew they would make my audience think or laugh or be happy; I'd get so excited about the prospect of the enjoyment and reaction of whomever I was engaging with that I am sure I unknowingly removed myself from the conversation a bit.

Even with the best of intentions focusing too much on what we're going to share or do next can significantly reduce a conversation or an experience and, paradoxically, make us share less.

Back Sliding? Day 14: An Atlanta Traffic Experiment

I was hoping to be posting more regularly on this but life has gotten in the way, as it often does.


Two weeks from the start of my little experiment I unfortunately have to report that I've felt that I've slid back a bit. What do I mean?


Well specifically last weekend when one of the greatest women on the planet (my mother) visited me in Atlanta I noticed myself getting quite agitated at times. Even after I caught myself in these moments and encouraged myself to keep my cool I seemed to still become irritated later on that day, once during the same 15 minute drive.


I also remember making a decided effort to not tell my mom I was blogging about this topic. Not that it's a secret or that she hasn't read my posts (hi mom!) but I think that I didn't want to be held accountable that weekend.


It was interesting.

Part of it makes me think about what some say, that we sometimes treat the people we love the most ,the most harshly because we know that they will always love us. Mothers seem to fall into this camp most since who can love us the way our mothers do? Others love us equally, sometimes more, but never that same way.


This is hugely unfair and something else to add to the laundry list of things to work on. But considering this and focusing back on my experiment in patience, I wonder if I simply wanted a break. From what? From having to hold my agitation in. From trying to improve myself. From being the best version of myself. It was as if with my mother's arrival in Georgia all that I wanted to do was revert back to being her child and being able to "lash out" since I knew that no matter what she'd love me.


It was an interestingly timed trip to say the least. Since just like it's unfair to treat our moms or others harsher because we know they will always love us, it's unfair for me to "decide" to regress on my patience experiment or anything else just because my mommy is in town and will love me and accept me.


While I wish I was more self-aware of this during the weekend I am happy that I can reflect on it now, since again, being aware of many things is step one. And with this reflection I can get back being patience and tolerant and keeping calm even when I encounter un-ideal or annoying things.