professional "thank you" etiquette

There are many ways to thank someone both on the job and in your personal life that do the trick though there is one that I really dislike. This is when someone says “Thanks in advance!” 

I understand and appreciate the sentiment -- you’re thanking me now to be sure the task doesn’t go without thanks and so that I feel appreciated -- but when someone says this to me no matter who this person is, how many exclamation marks, or smiley faces he or she throws in I tend to roll my eyes, feel a little talked down to, and perhaps worst, part of me might not want to help him or her and may even complete the request more slowly.


Sure, I’m probably being a little dramatic or oversensitive here (me dramatic or oversensitive?!) but I think there are other better ways to thank people. I don’t mean over-the-top declarations. Those are fun but not for everyday use. I’m talking about simple email closings and things of that nature. But what’s my big hang up with thanking in advance? Keep reading…


Why thanking someone in advance is a bad approach

The work you get back might be subpar. What if the work is wrong? Or sloppy? Or it gets delivered late? 

Asking too big a request? Again I might simply be oversensitive here but when a simple “Thanks” will do “Thanks in advance” becomes so over-the-top that I wonder if this person is pulling a fast one on me.

The ole passive aggressor. This might just be me but this phrase feels so passive aggressive. If that’s your goal then go for it! But if not you might consider a different approach.

Can shut conversation down. Perhaps worse and maybe most likely, it can come across as if this request is a pure directive and in no way open for discussion be it to offer an adjustment, or simply ask a clarifying questions. “Thanks in advance” can make a request feel very one-sided which is simply not conducive to the best kind of work and results.


So how do you sincerely show appreciation upfront during a request? Here are some of my favorite alternate approaches…

Ways to thank people professionally

Thanks for your help! It’s sincere and acknowledges that the recipient is helping you but not casting them beneath you.

Thanks so much! Again sincere and this time acknowledges that the recipient is doing much to help you.

Thanks! My favorite (though “Thanks so much!” frequents my emails a great deal). Short and sweet and gets the job done.


Again, I realize this might be making a mountain out of a molehill. And overall it might be better to say “Thanks in advance” than nothing at all. But like it or not your chosen words, your actions, and your style or how you deliver your message can be just as important as the actual message.


So think before you thank and hit send.


Thanks so much for reading!!