feedback

Last week I sat down with my manager to review my progress to date. I’ve had multiple feedback conversations, both formal and informal, throughout my career so this was nothing new for me but for some reason this one made me a little, well, panicked. 

I think it’s really important to understand where you stand in a professional role. Feedback conversations should be ongoing and an annual or mid-year review should not include anything all that surprising. Despite this I was in knots the days leading up to our discussion.

This was especially strange to me since I had requested the conversation. I had done this because a few weeks ago I realized that while I believed I was doing well and while I had received positive feedback from a few people, I didn’t know for sure that my performance was stellar -- or even sufficient -- in the eyes of my manager and leadership team. 

I’ll spare the suspense and say that my feedback was excellent so my anxiety was unwarranted. But it really surprised me how nervous I was.

Though when I think about the situation I guess it does make sense. I’ve been in my new role for going on 10 weeks now and was told upon being hired that my first 90 days were a trial period. While I have confidence in my work, again, I think it’s critical to know where you stand. Perhaps it’s not anymore or any less important, but it certainly feels more significant when you move hundreds of miles away for a new job. The last thing I wanted was to be told on day 89, or 90, or 91, “This has been nice and all but you haven’t been performing up to our expectations soooo you’re going to have to go… Good luck in this new city you just moved to…” Suddenly the pressure was mounting and the sizable risk that I might have set myself up for a disaster was becoming real. 

This might make some people NOT want to hear feedback. But hiding from or avoiding something doesn’t make it any less real. As the day of my conversation with my manager approached I had to remind myself that the anxiety I was feeling was natural, normal, and would soon be eased. 

I won’t sugarcoat it, not all feedback conversations go smoothly. You need to be prepared for the good and the bad. Or should I say, be prepared for positive feedback and feedback on your development opportunities. I have received feedback that has blindsided me, but I’ve become better for it. Remain humble and composed, really listen, and be open to learning how you are perceived; this is how you get better. And after all it’s all about getting better. 

The next time time you’re unsure of where you stand, or even if you’re pretty sure of where you stand, ask for feedback. Have a conversation about your performance, your progress, and your potential. 

What do you professionally is important. It is not your life but it is a big part of your life. It literally funds what you can and cannot do and you need to take it seriously and own it.