I spent this past weekend with friends in Hoboken, NJ and New York City. As often happens when I spend any portion of time in/around Manhattan, small pangs course through me and I wonder what my life would have been like if I lived in the city.
See growing up in New Jersey I just assumed I'd be living in New York in my mid/late 20s. I think this is pretty common for young adults who grow up in the tri-state area, it's almost a pilgrimage home after many spend four years away at college.
My fourth year of undergrad I was pretty certain that by the following year I would be working for an advertising agency in the city, living on a meager salary, and running between small apartments and funky restaurants and bars at night. Instead I received and accepted a job offer to work in the marketing department at a major financial institution and moved to Richmond, Virginia. In the years that followed I made another move on the east coast and of course now further south.
At this point I am not sure I will ever live in New York. I am also not sure if I would really want to now. If I'm really honest with myself I am not sure I ever really wanted to; maybe it was just what I thought I was supposed to do. But I do wonder if I will ever look back and regret not trying my hand at NYC living.
Don't get me wrong. I have loved living in different cities, meeting new people, and having my own unique experiences. I really think a non-NYC living situation was the best move for me, personally. While New York City is often considered to be the city to find any and all types of people and points of view, I think there's something to be said about being exposed to different people and points of view in different areas. Consider that rather than learning about the perspective and life of a person born and raised in Georgia while living in Manhattan I get to do that while in Georgia myself.
Still my relationship with New York remains complex. But maybe all of our relationships with the cities we live in -- perhaps as well some cities we actively don't live in -- are complex. A great friend of mine who has spent almost all of her 20s in Manhattan mentioned this weekend that she sometimes wonders if she's missing out on not trying other areas the way I have. I will never know if one day I'll regret not living in New York just like she'll never know if she'll regret not trying another place. But that's not any way to live; there's no way of knowing if you're missing out on some other life that you would have had if you took a different path.
There are so many possibilities and options for our lives in this world. Sometimes I wish I could have nine lives and pick a different path each time. But we get one. And since the grass can be greener elsewhere at times I think it boils down to us needing to know what types of experiences we each uniquely crave and want and then making choices that best match.
And if all else fails, I keep in mind something Mom reminded me of before I headed out for my NY adventures this past weekend... She reminded me just how lucky I am to be able to get know so many areas, both from my own living experiences and from all my visits to friends. So maybe I won't ever live in NYC or some other cool places I might have if I had those nine lives, but at least I get to try them all on for size a little bit.
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| Enjoying breakfast on the Hudson River Park Pier as I pretend to be a New Yorker for the morning |
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