sometimes you have to hit pause

I have been beyond delinquent on posting this fall. I have been busy with some side-projects which anyone who follows my blog will surely learn about soon (....) still, I have been frustrated with myself in just how long I've gone without posting anything. I have found myself time and time again beginning to write something, sometimes drafting nearly an entire post, or just jotting down a few notes for an idea on the blogger app but then never coming back to these for weeks.

So why this big pause? 

There's been no funk, no mild seasonal depression with the one cold snap we've had here in Georgia (40s during the daytime a handful of days which earns a "brr" down here... I barely recognize myself anymore!) 

I just needed a little break to focus on a few other things.

Taking a pause like with without having to explain it is something we all need sometimes. It's not something we can enjoy in all facets of our lives-- most of us can't simply stop showing up to work without any notice or reason, mothers and fathers can't stop being parents, and there are other consequences for simply "hitting pause" on other relationships we have. So when and where we can take a necessary pause we should do it.

This is why when blogging --something I enjoy but is not critical to my existence or livelihood-- began to become something that was more taxing than enjoyable I cut myself some slack. I hit pause. 

I've been enjoying this little re-set button for my personal and professional mental state. Which is something I think we all require sometimes.

With the start of November, new projects, and new adventures coming up I plan to getting back to posting regularly but in the meantime cut me some slack :)

decide what to be and go be it

For much of last week I was so swamped that I wasn't thinking about how I wanted to show up and what my intentions were. Those days my mind felt clouded, my purpose wasn’t clear, and while I had happy and productive days, there were certainly things I dwelled on that I didn't need to and equally things I didn't think enough about.

On a stroll to Starbucks early Sunday afternoon I realized that I hadn’t thought about my intention in days. Since it was Sunday I decided that my focus didn’t need to be anything monumental. I had felt immensely fortunate over the past couple of days and I decided, with that in mind, that what I wanted to really pay attention to was being kind. I don't consider myself an unkind person by any means but I'm not sure that we all spend enough time really focused on and wanting to be kind.

The universe didn’t waste any time to put my intention to the test. Not a middle aged, homeless man was standing at the front door of Starbucks; his strong, musty scent introduced him before I looked up and saw him. He was thin with wild hair and oddly placed tatoos. He wore very loose, ripped shorts and a baggy tshirt. I couldn’t help but think that with his thin frame he could have been a petite model dressed in hipster fashions that girls like me would pin to their street style Pinterest boards.

I walked inside and he followed close -- very close -- behind. He stood no less than 6 inches behind me in the uncrowded line. He seemed a but many and was standing so close that in an effort to back up I walked out of line so he approached the counter before me. He ordered a cup of coffee and pulled out one dollar bill. The barista asked him if he had any more money; his drink was $1 and some change but he didn’t produce anything else. Not wanting to make a scene I stood quietly for a moment. I then asked what he was trying to order. The barista smiled and shook her head at me; she had just run the transaction and just charged him $1. He stood by me, still very close by, as she poured him a cup of coffee. He wasn’t looking at the pastries with any real longing but the least I could do it seemed was to ask if he’d like anything. He quietly scanned his options for a few seconds without even acknowledging my offer; then he declared, with the same excitement of a child after finally choosing an ice cream flavor, “Coffee cake!” 

I don’t post this to make myself feel good or to receive kudos for purchasing small pastry for a homeless man at a coffee shop. People do acts of kindness like this all the time. If I’m being honest I could do them a lot more frequently. 

I post this because it’s not everyday when you decide you want to do something and then are presented a perfect opportunity to do so, literally moments later. I felt lucky to have the opportunity to do something kind for someone else and be able to see the real result.

It was a good reminder about my intention to be more purpose oriented this month. Even though I got a little side-tracked some days, all of the days that I did operate with clear thought and intentions I was more productive (and not just with those specific plans or goals), more content, and I think happier.

Happy Tuesday, decide how you want to show up today and keep your eye on your own prize.

2nd PSL of the season. Don't hate, we all know these are delicious.

finding purpose on my daily commute

I committed to sharing my experience living more purposefully but life happened last week and writing posts fell towards the bottom of my to-do list. Luckily I was fortunate enough to attend part of Oprah's The Life You Want Weekend here in Atlanta which was, strangely enough -- but not all surprisingly -- very aligned with this focus on purpose that I'm living right now.

I'll share about the Oprah experience at a later point but for now I thought I'd share about a specific moment from last week when I could pinpoint this little experiment having a positive, real impact on me.

With my recent move (read about my feelings on moving here and here) I've been able to take MARTA, Atlanta's public transit system. To say that it has been a wonderful life change would be an understatement. 

MARTA gets a bad rap so hear (read) me out... Moving from another city with a huge traffic problem  but one that also has a strong public transit system (Washington, DC), it's been a challenge getting used to life without easy access to public transit. Enter: living less than 4 blocks from MARTA and working less than a half a mile from a transit station.

MARTA seems to be looked down on in Atlanta. But truth be told, it's cleaner and less crowded than all the other public transits I've taken on a regular basis. This is likely due to the fact that it's not all that popular, which is largely due to the fact that it doesn't run through the most convenient locations, but I digress.

I've been taking the train to my office 2-3 times a week for the past 3 weeks. Along with removing me from the mess that is Metro Atlanta traffic it gives me time to read and decompress, offers a little exercise as I walk to/from the stations, and costs no more than traveling via car.

A co-worker of mine has joked that he can tell the days I take MARTA since I just seem to be in a brighter mood.

The other day I was leaving the train and saw one of the other women in my office who takes the train into work. My immediate reaction was to avoid her. I hate to admit this but then again I think that's a pretty normal reaction: I had a 5 minute walk to my building left in my commute and part of me wanted to revel in my solitude. I rationalized to myself that it wasn't just so that I'd have a few more minutes of "me" time but since she had ear buds in surely she wouldn't want to chat; further even if she did I'm sure I would have startled her if I approached her. 

Just before I could finish talking myself out of saying hello I remembered a part of the intention I set for myself that morning. My intention was to really think about and connect with my coworkers on a human level. Not that I don't do this on a pretty regular basis but I had recently been asked to develop a team development program to encourage associates to get to know one another on a more personal basis. I figured I should walk the walk. But more so I really firmly believe that showing our authentic selves at work and getting to know the authentic selves of our coworkers is really important to our happiness and success at a company. I am friendly with a lot of my coworkers and close with a few but I knew that there was still room for improvement.

With that I quickened my pace and caught up to her. We had a very nice walk to the office together. Then two days later we walked to the train together at the end of the day. That time she saw me heading out and asked if I had driven or rode in; when I told her I took the train her face lit up, she asked if I'd wait 2 minutes for her to grab her things (I obliged), and when she got back to the door she said as we walked towards the elevators, "I've had no one to ever walk with since the interns left!"

My simple act, while small to me, was big to her. 

This was the point of my set purpose that morning. And being able to identify and see progress in these purposes and intentions is a big reason I've been starting my days with a set intention or two.

What about you? What are your intentions for the day or month or even longer term? Declare your purpose and start making progress now. 

purpose project: day 1

A good chunk of my time as a marketing manager is spent developing strategy. This makes sense since there needs to be a plan in place (even if just a basic, rough concept) before execution is possible. 

As I build my plans I consider multiple components such as the wants, needs, and motivations of my audience, the goals of my business, sales, and product partners, as well as the competitive climate, past results, projects results, and more.

At times it can seem like there are too many options or courses of action that can be taken. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. This is why for me, like many strategists, it often comes back to intent. Intent or what we want to happen as a result of our efforts critical in business. It helps answer a key operating question that a former manager and champion of mine would ask which is,  for the sake of what?

Increasingly I've been considering what would happen if I employed as much intent in my daily life as I do professionally. Not that I would want to have everything  planned out -- that's no fun -- but what would happen if I acted with purpose and intention daily. 

I believe that if I operate with a clear vision of my purpose and goals for each day I will be more productive, efficient, and happier.

This is why I've decided to live the month of September with intent. I'm calling it my purpose project.

I believe that by thinking through the intent, or the for the sake of what, behind our behavior we can better understand why we do the things we do and in turn, we will understand ourselves a bit more as well.

So if I won't be plotting or planning out everything I do what will this look like? I plan to be aware of my daily actions, activities, decisions, and choices. Plain and simply I want to start  each day by thinking about how I intend to be-- How do I want to show up throughout the day at my office and beyond? How do I want to make people feel? Maybe I've been having the tendency lately to snap at people; if so can I operate with more compassion and understanding? Have I been neglecting any friend or family member; if yes should I consider carving off some extra time to him or her? Or maybe I have been neglecting myself and I should consider carving off extra time for me. 

Far too many people live far too many days feeling as if they are simply drifting and going through the motions. My hope is that operating with intent and purpose will help resolve this. 

I'm not sure how an entire month of this will go and what the result -- if any -- will be but I intend (pun intended!) to find out. 

I'll post regularly (at least twice a week) on the experiment so check back frequently! 

making decisions: the importance of knowing what’s important to you

I moved earlier this month. Again. This is the 4th time that I’ve moved in 15 months. That’s all I’ll say about that. 

So why did I move? I had a really nice apartment, I was centrally located so I had great access to all the areas of Atlanta where I spend much of my time, plus moving is the worst. 

It’s pretty simple: I wasn’t able to walk anywhere from my old apartment.

If you’re familiar with Atlanta this is pretty common. Much of the city isn’t walkable. There are a handful of neighborhoods that are (Virginia Highlands, Inman Park, and Midtown, where I now live) but other major areas (Buckhead, Peachtree Hills, Brookhaven) are not. I knew this moving to the city and I had gotten pretty used to driving or taking Uber everywhere. So how and why did this become something that was so important to me that I would subject myself to yet another move? 

It wasn't until just a few months ago when a close friend was visiting me that I realized this was really bothering me and the first time I first realized I could pretty easily change it. It wasn't any earth shattering conversation but having an external party who I trusted and who knew me to help me extract and identify my prioritizes was really key for me. 

The challenge was that many of the places that are pedestrian friendly have low inventory and pretty high demand so I had to move quickly. I also had to prioritize what I was looking for in the actual unit. But after I acknowledged that my main goal was to move somewhere that was walkable my other priorities like having a gym, pool, washer/dryer, dishwasher, staying within my budget, having a balcony, distance to my office and so on, fell into their placed and were reordered accordingly and pretty easily. 

So what happened? How's my apartment? I landed in a new place within my budget, in the exact area I wanted, with all the amenities I wanted, that is except for a balcony.

Almost two weeks ago while I was unpacking and settling into my new place I felt these happy, proud feelings wash over me. I started to think about how fortunate I was that I come to this realization, that I had found a place in my ideal location within my budget, with nearly all my desired amenities all relatively quickly. Then I paused. It was more than simple fortune that led me to this new physical place in life. I had been very deliberate. I had done my research. I had been both diligent and realistic in my search. Most importantly I had taken the time to consider what I really wanted and prioritized accordingly. 

Easy right?

It was. So why not apply this focused approach in other areas of life? Why not employ this self-awareness and act deliberately in all facets of life.

As I through the steps that I took when prioritizing and then acting deliberately in my apartment search I realized these are really quite basic, but important.

Now it's easy to think about this for an apartment hunt. Priorities are things like location, amenities, price, etc. But surely the core of this concept is transferable. 

So what were they again?

1. Think about what you want. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well it is. What do you want? Great, that's your answer. Really, that's it. In whatever area of life it is, just think about what you want
2. Is this realistic? One of the things I want is a million dollars but that likely won't appear out of thin area. 
3. Not sure what you want? This is a critical piece of this exercise but you're not alone if you're just not sure. Don't be shy about talking it through with someone else; choose someone who knows you well and open up to him or her. This was invaluable for me in this scenario along with tens of others I've experienced and I'm sure ones that you've experience. 
4. Prioritize. What do you want most? This might be an exercise in getting to know yourself a bit but prioritizing your priorities is part of being a realistic adult. 
5. Go. Do it. Seriously. 

Again, any and all facets of life would benefit from more prioritization. What are some examples? Knowing and assessing your priorities when considering something big like taking a new job, or moving to a new city. Maybe you really want to be in New York City but this particular opportunity would require a pay cut or perhaps the role would be a lateral move and you want something a little higher so you decide to wait; that's okay. Or how about something as seemingly basic as deciding how you will spend your Friday evening-- do you want to go out or do you want to order Thai food and sit on your couch? It might not seem like it but this is both an ongoing question I face in my life and something I find far too many of my friends exert energy thinking about, actually worrying about. Setting your priorities straight will really help. 

At the end of the day with these and many personal decisions, there's no right or wrong answer. As long as you take the time to assess your own wants and needs then make your decision(s) based on that you're choosing the best thing for you. 

So get going. Get thinking and prioritizing and start moving through your life with focus and purpose. 

Back to YOU season

It's back to school season and even if you're not a student or don't have a student in your household it's a great time of year to reset, reground, and re-energize yourself in any and all areas of your life. Think of it as getting back-to-you.

So where to start? Here are some ideas:

Health & fitness

Despite the fact that summer is bathing suit season it's common to have such full schedules to actually gain weight over these summer months. Maybe you've over-indulged just a little bit at all those BBQs or maybe you've been slacking on your gym routine because you have happy hours every night of the week. Take a moment to redefine and realign what you want your health routine to include. This spans physical, mental, emotional-- everything! Think about what you want your health and fitness routine to look like, figure out where it falls on your priority list and reset yourself to start making it happen!

Environment

Your surroundings impact you more than you may realize. And since this is the time of year when college students are going back to their schools and moving into new apartments or dorms, it's a natural time to reconsider your space. Changing out a few pieces in your home or at your desk can really change things up and make things feel fresh and new. This is can also be a good time to do some purging. Getting rid of excess items can do wonders to refresh and rejuvenate you. Don't forget to donate pieces that are in good condition!

Finances

Ahh summer spending. It can be hard to stay on track with your budget and financial goals when there are so many patios with drink specials, concerts, trips, and events going on. Not to mention all those weddings! This is a good time of the year to take a good look at your spending and reassess your budget and goals. Not to jump from 80 degrees and sunny to snow so soon but the holidays are coming up as will holiday spending; taking time to get yourself into a good spot financially now will help set you up for success when the season of giving comes around.   

Relationships

A major reason why we all get out of bed in the morning is for our loved ones-- family, friends, significant others. Most of these relationships add value to our lives but sometimes, like all other moving parts of our lives, there can be ups and downs. I like to take some time to think about how and with whom I am spending my time. Am I spending my time with those who I love and love me? Am I over-extended? Are my relationships fulfilling and inspiring or are they draining? Time is our most precious commodity and using is wisely is essential; key to this is our own self-assessment of how we spend it.

All these elements add up

All of these things and more add up to comprise our lives. Take time to make this back-to-school season a back-to-you season and take an inventory of how you're living and operating and if you need to adjust anything. Think about how you'd like to be sending your time, money, energy. Then do it!  

Atlanta-versary

Last Sunday marked my one year anniversary of moving to Atlanta. I celebrated by having the same dinner that I had on my first night in the city: a salad from the Whole Foods salad bar.

A lot has happened over the past 12 months. I've taken 18 flights, lived in 3 different apartments, and spent time in 13 different states.

I've had 3 different managers, paid off 1 more student loan, and have had my credit checked over 5 times.

I've been in 2 different weddings, celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday as well as my parents 30th wedding anniversary. I've gone on 10 first dates, 5 second dates, and, well, the numbers get increasingly unimpressive so I'll stop there.

There are some things I'm especially proud of. I stood up a cross-functional culture team at my company, drove through the state of Utah by myself, and had some difficult conversations (both with others and myself) that I would have previously shy-ed away from. 

I've done some dumb things too. Some really, really dumb things. I've done some pretty annoying things also. Like when I had to sleep in an airport overnight (read that tale here), scratched my car door in my own parking garage, and bought a concert ticket for the wrong day.

I've put my foot in my mouth a lot more than I would have liked but rather than obsess over each time I've thought through the experience, processed it, accepted it, and moved on.

Progress.

The whole year has been progress and isn't that what growth and learning is all about? This past year I've learned so much. I've learned that it's okay to put my foot in my mouth (sometimes) and that it's important to not beat myself up over it.

I've learned that paying for a gym membership or classes that really push you are worth it; at least as you get older and live in a not-so-walkable city.

I've learned that sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut. When you can you should help others. And while sometimes helping others might be a big task or ask sometimes it can be as simple as just listening to someone or returning a text message. Don't discount how important your time, perspective, or just a listening ear can be to someone else. 

I've learned that there are so few instances in life when you should really be upset or angry and that facing things with calmness and a clear head is the best way to approach anything.

It's been a wonderful 12 months to say the least, and I have high hopes for my second year in Atlanta. Stay tuned for updates on life in the south, travel plans for the rest of the month, others musings as I grow and evolve-- and unavoidably put my foot (or feet) in my mouth time and time (and time) again.