sometimes you have to hit pause

I have been beyond delinquent on posting this fall. I have been busy with some side-projects which anyone who follows my blog will surely learn about soon (....) still, I have been frustrated with myself in just how long I've gone without posting anything. I have found myself time and time again beginning to write something, sometimes drafting nearly an entire post, or just jotting down a few notes for an idea on the blogger app but then never coming back to these for weeks.

So why this big pause? 

There's been no funk, no mild seasonal depression with the one cold snap we've had here in Georgia (40s during the daytime a handful of days which earns a "brr" down here... I barely recognize myself anymore!) 

I just needed a little break to focus on a few other things.

Taking a pause like with without having to explain it is something we all need sometimes. It's not something we can enjoy in all facets of our lives-- most of us can't simply stop showing up to work without any notice or reason, mothers and fathers can't stop being parents, and there are other consequences for simply "hitting pause" on other relationships we have. So when and where we can take a necessary pause we should do it.

This is why when blogging --something I enjoy but is not critical to my existence or livelihood-- began to become something that was more taxing than enjoyable I cut myself some slack. I hit pause. 

I've been enjoying this little re-set button for my personal and professional mental state. Which is something I think we all require sometimes.

With the start of November, new projects, and new adventures coming up I plan to getting back to posting regularly but in the meantime cut me some slack :)

chilled? sort of

Yesterday I wrote about needing to chill the F out. I’d like to report that today I took my own advice (in a way).

This morning I went to a TRX class across town. I went earlier this week so to get there I selected what I thought was the address from some of my most recent Google map navigation entries (not sure what I should call them). Well, I realized that I had selected the wrong address when I was about 2 miles away from a restaurant I had gone to for drinks this past week. Luckily I didm’t waste that much time hough I was now on track to arrive at 10:05 for my 10am class. Anyone who knows me knows that this would likely cause me some anxiety, I hate being late for anything, especially when I’m new-ish at a class, course, job, etc. 

I surprised myself and didn’t really flinch. Thinking rationally, I knew there was a 9am class so the chances that we started the 10 right on time were pretty slim. I also thought through the worst case scenario, which would be that I would not be allowed in the class, I’d turnaround, go home, and work out in the gym at my apartment. Probably one of the best worst case scenarios in the history of worst case scenarios. 

I got there at 10:02, a good 2 minutes before class started.

My ability to relax was no major success. Nothing to write home about (though I am writing here about it so technically my mom could read this -- if you are, Hi mom!!) but a small victory in the game of being more at ease.

I share this because I think it’s really important to take note of these little victories. Don’t make them bigger than they are (I promise I won’t write about my inability to follow direction or even plug in an address, or being late ever again) but take a moment, remind yourself it’s all about progress and personal growth, then move on so you can keep growing. 

Happy Sunday!

chill the F out

Sometimes I need to chill the F out. Really.

When something is going on in my life that I'm really proud of or excited about, or making me nervous, there are some people I just cannot wait to tell. But sometimes my delivery can come at bad times. I get overeager or overzealous and just can’t wait which actually is pretty counterintuitive to the reason why I’m even sharing my news to given with. Why would I want to spring something like my news of a big project or an exciting personal endeavor with a friend who I know is going through a rocky time at her job? It's inconsiderate but also -- since we often tend to care more about things that have a direct impact to us -- my poor timing will likely result in my news not generating the excited, celebratory reaction I was hoping for.

When I am able to successfully chill the F out and use my intuition to share at an appropriate time, it's almost always well received; I almost always get the reaction I'm looking for.

This happens well beyond my personal world as well. A former manager of mine once told me one of my biggest strengths was my ability to "connect the dots insanely quickly." He also mentioned that this this was one of my biggest downfalls (or "development areas"). See I could figure out lickedly-split what the repercussions would be if X didn't happen, I could break down how out something like a TV production schedule over the next few weeks would be negatively impacted by one stinking delayed decision. I would share this knowledge until I was blue in the face; I thought I was helping people by raising red flags about timing and this and that. For him, and a good number of the people who have given me feedback over the years, this was actually sometimes a negative thing.

Sometimes I was seen as being a roadblock, I was seen as being negative (a characteristic that couldn’t describe me less). My timing and my inability to just relax was getting in my own way; if I would calm down and yup, chill I would be much more likely to have successful influence within my projects and teams.

Sure raising a flag or getting something off your chest is important and sometimes just has to happen but often for me what needs to happen is just chilling the F out. Taking a moment to assess my audience, assess my situation, assess what I want and need out of the situation whether it's an activity, project at work, friendship, Friday night, relationship -- this really applies to everything-- and then go from there.

I often just get so excited about things. And generally I truly think I am helping others. But sometimes the best move is no move. Chill. Go to lunch. Sleep on it. Delete the text message. Step away from the email. 

You're not losing steam or not making progress; you're making progress thoughtfully.