Improvement in Awareness: Day 7 of An ATL Traffic Experiment

It's been one full week since I decided that I would actively try to be a calmer, more patient driver. No small feat in a city with one of the biggest traffic problems like Atlanta. (Miss this post? Read it here)


I thought this to be an appropriate time to check-in on this little endeavor of mine.


So what have I learned or noticed over the past week? Actually a couple of things:


1. Time moves equally slowly and fast. Okay, that might not actually make sense but what I mean is that racing impatiently to get to and from work really hasn't been getting me to my desk or to me couch or the gym or happy hour that much faster. How do I know? Well I've been leaving my apartment and office at the same time just simply being more at ease driving over the past week and my commute time has not gone up or down drastically. What has changed? My mood upon getting out of my car (this might be placebo, I'll admit) and my self-awareness.


2. Other people are crazy. We all probably think this to some extent and fall into this category ourselves to some extent but consciously trying to reduce my own aggressiveness has really made me more aware of the aggressiveness of others.


Here's an example: yesterday at a spot where a back-up of 5-25 minutes is perfectly normal at 5pm this one car (white Lexus, in case that matters to anyone) flew past about 60 cars (nope, not exaggerating) on the right shoulder then cut through three lanes. First of all this is really dangerous, for this person and for everyone else on the road. But additionally and more to the point of this experiment: why? Considering my experience over the past week I wonder if that move really got this driver to his or her end destination all that much quicker....


3. Awareness builds awareness. I've noticed that my awareness of my patience -- or lack thereof -- in other areas of my life. One area that surprised me, but upon further consideration it makes perfect sense, is riding elevators. I work on the 9th floor of a 10 floor building and little irritates me more than when someone hits the call button on the lobby floor *just* before the doors close only to hit the button for the 1st floor. (Obviously expectant mothers or people just carrying a tremendous amount of just are excused)


This past week I've actively been trying to not be bothered by it, to not roll my eyes, or not look upon these people with distain. And you know what? My ride up to the 9th floor is the same duration of time, when I walk into my office I'm sure the energy I'm exuding is more open and positive, and the other people who work in my office surely must notice the change in my disposition. Okay, maybe not the latter but even if the one person in my building to notice the brighter mood I'm in is myself, that's a win in my book.




So what's the big takeaway here? Well even bigger than the realization that little bursts of aggressive driving seem to have little to no positive impact on my arrival time, the fact that simply being aware of myself has positive implications.


What's an area of your life that might benefit from a little extra attention and focus? Maybe it's being friendly to your coworkers, non-judgmental of other ideas. Whatever it is, try being more self-aware of your desire to improve in this space. What you observe might just surprise you!

can we make lateral moves in our personal lives as well?

Perhaps the most prevailing, healthiest school of thought regarding personal progress is to not compare yourself to others. Instead, compare yourself to yourself. Seek self-improvement year-over-year or over other periods of time. 

I most definitely agree with this and try to measure my own growth in this way. Though I wonder, is it okay to have lateral growth in your personal life?

Professionally, especially after a few years into the workplace or once a person hits a steady stride in his or her career, lateral moves and growth should be expected and sought out. Personally I’ve already made two very decided lateral moves in my career.

When I moved from Richmond to DC a few years ago I remained at the same company, in the same department, but moved to a different team. I left what was a very sexy role that offered me significant exposure to very senior executives (I’m talking C-level). I know some people, especially in my own peer set, must have thought I was crazy. But it was thought-out. I was intentionally diversifying myself so to broaden my own experience, figure out what I liked and didn’t like, as well as what I was good at and what I wasn’t so good at. After about a year I made another lateral move. Again, I am sure there were skeptics and people who had strong perspectives about my choices. Again, it was all very thought-out. 

Sure, I took a risk in these moves. I could have most certainly realized that the first role was in fact what I should have stuck with. I’m sure my career and life would have been fine -- wonderful in fact -- had I done that, but I personally needed more. 

I believe 100% that while my lateral moves might have seemingly stagnated me for a few years they taught me an incredible amount, made me more well rounded and experienced, and set me up to be catapulted to where I am today.

I would think most professionals, provided they are comfortable taking thought-out risks, would agree with lateral moves at some point in a career. I wonder though, can we make lateral moves in our personal lives?

I have a friend who once told me when he broke up with a longtime girlfriend that for him life and relationships were about growth. He and this girl were no longer growing together, which meant to him, that they were growing apart. While I believe this to an extent in relationships, if you’re not growing [upwards] as a person is it not progress to grow in a different way?

I’m not talking about getting fat here. I’m talking about maybe taking two steps forward but then floundering, making some mistakes, and maybe taking one step, or sometimes two, or sometimes even three steps back. But learning from these stumbles, picking yourself up, and continuing on. We encourage this professionally, but do we -- can we, or should we -- encourage this personally or socially?

I'm all about progress. I consider myself a pretty driven, put together person. Though I'm human and I have my moments when I am a mess. 

Some of my close friends might have an idea what is driving me to consider this. I don’t know the answer and I am not making excuses, but if it’s all about growth why do we have to control the way -- upwards or outwards -- that we grow? If we’re learning we’re learning and to me that’s progress.