Back to YOU season

It's back to school season and even if you're not a student or don't have a student in your household it's a great time of year to reset, reground, and re-energize yourself in any and all areas of your life. Think of it as getting back-to-you.

So where to start? Here are some ideas:

Health & fitness

Despite the fact that summer is bathing suit season it's common to have such full schedules to actually gain weight over these summer months. Maybe you've over-indulged just a little bit at all those BBQs or maybe you've been slacking on your gym routine because you have happy hours every night of the week. Take a moment to redefine and realign what you want your health routine to include. This spans physical, mental, emotional-- everything! Think about what you want your health and fitness routine to look like, figure out where it falls on your priority list and reset yourself to start making it happen!

Environment

Your surroundings impact you more than you may realize. And since this is the time of year when college students are going back to their schools and moving into new apartments or dorms, it's a natural time to reconsider your space. Changing out a few pieces in your home or at your desk can really change things up and make things feel fresh and new. This is can also be a good time to do some purging. Getting rid of excess items can do wonders to refresh and rejuvenate you. Don't forget to donate pieces that are in good condition!

Finances

Ahh summer spending. It can be hard to stay on track with your budget and financial goals when there are so many patios with drink specials, concerts, trips, and events going on. Not to mention all those weddings! This is a good time of the year to take a good look at your spending and reassess your budget and goals. Not to jump from 80 degrees and sunny to snow so soon but the holidays are coming up as will holiday spending; taking time to get yourself into a good spot financially now will help set you up for success when the season of giving comes around.   

Relationships

A major reason why we all get out of bed in the morning is for our loved ones-- family, friends, significant others. Most of these relationships add value to our lives but sometimes, like all other moving parts of our lives, there can be ups and downs. I like to take some time to think about how and with whom I am spending my time. Am I spending my time with those who I love and love me? Am I over-extended? Are my relationships fulfilling and inspiring or are they draining? Time is our most precious commodity and using is wisely is essential; key to this is our own self-assessment of how we spend it.

All these elements add up

All of these things and more add up to comprise our lives. Take time to make this back-to-school season a back-to-you season and take an inventory of how you're living and operating and if you need to adjust anything. Think about how you'd like to be sending your time, money, energy. Then do it!  

Atlanta-versary

Last Sunday marked my one year anniversary of moving to Atlanta. I celebrated by having the same dinner that I had on my first night in the city: a salad from the Whole Foods salad bar.

A lot has happened over the past 12 months. I've taken 18 flights, lived in 3 different apartments, and spent time in 13 different states.

I've had 3 different managers, paid off 1 more student loan, and have had my credit checked over 5 times.

I've been in 2 different weddings, celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday as well as my parents 30th wedding anniversary. I've gone on 10 first dates, 5 second dates, and, well, the numbers get increasingly unimpressive so I'll stop there.

There are some things I'm especially proud of. I stood up a cross-functional culture team at my company, drove through the state of Utah by myself, and had some difficult conversations (both with others and myself) that I would have previously shy-ed away from. 

I've done some dumb things too. Some really, really dumb things. I've done some pretty annoying things also. Like when I had to sleep in an airport overnight (read that tale here), scratched my car door in my own parking garage, and bought a concert ticket for the wrong day.

I've put my foot in my mouth a lot more than I would have liked but rather than obsess over each time I've thought through the experience, processed it, accepted it, and moved on.

Progress.

The whole year has been progress and isn't that what growth and learning is all about? This past year I've learned so much. I've learned that it's okay to put my foot in my mouth (sometimes) and that it's important to not beat myself up over it.

I've learned that paying for a gym membership or classes that really push you are worth it; at least as you get older and live in a not-so-walkable city.

I've learned that sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut. When you can you should help others. And while sometimes helping others might be a big task or ask sometimes it can be as simple as just listening to someone or returning a text message. Don't discount how important your time, perspective, or just a listening ear can be to someone else. 

I've learned that there are so few instances in life when you should really be upset or angry and that facing things with calmness and a clear head is the best way to approach anything.

It's been a wonderful 12 months to say the least, and I have high hopes for my second year in Atlanta. Stay tuned for updates on life in the south, travel plans for the rest of the month, others musings as I grow and evolve-- and unavoidably put my foot (or feet) in my mouth time and time (and time) again. 

4 things I learned from spending the night in the Charlotte airport

Yes, you read that correct... I spent the night in the Charlotte airport.


Now first I'll answer some questions I am sure are running through your mind:


1. Yes, it was frustrating.
2. No, it wasn't as gross/weird as I thought it would be.
3. Yes, I slept on the floor.
4. Yes, I felt really, really dirty for an entire 24 hours after; even after I showered.


Okay, now that that's out of the way here's what happened and more importantly, what I learned.


So to set the stage: I flew to Salt Lake City last Thursday for the first leg of my July trip out west. Well, I guess it's more accurate to say that I left Atlanta last Thursday.


I had a layover in Charlotte because well, you have to go east to go west, right? Normally I would avoid a layover at many costs, but since I am not traveling round trip to/from SLC but instead I am going to Las Vegas later this week (intrigued about my trip now??) I had to book a one way flight to Salt Lake; and a one way direct was astronomical price-wise.


Thus my layover in Charlotte. Worth the $250 savings? Jury's still out.


While this was in no way part of my Fourth of July plans and not exactly an enjoyable experience, it was strangely a positive experience. Here are 4 things I was surprised to learn from spending the night in the Charlotte airport:


1. Be kind. You can't imagine the amount of rudeness I saw during this experience. Well, maybe you can. Maybe you've been on the giving or receiving end of this sort of treatment at some point in your life. I can't say that I am so angelic that I haven't been, in fact I know I have probably been just as rude. But watching someone basically verbally abuse someone else who's at no fault and who is simply trying to do their best to help in the middle of the night at the airport, well, you start to see this sort of treatment in a different light.


This is a lesson I constantly am reminded of so I tend to write about it a lot, but I think the fact that it pops back up so frequently simply speaks to how important it is.


2. Less fuss = less stress. This is a big one for me. Maybe it's for you too.


At times I can get easily worked up about, well, a lot of things. And while I'm usually a positive person I tend think through all possible scenarios, including all the things that can go wrong. To ease some of my concerns I fuss to other people. Sometimes this can be helpful but sometimes, in situations I simply have no control over, it just intensifies things making the situation seem worse.


Since my stay in the airport was late I didn't have my usual go-to people to complain to (aka my mom). All I could do was throw up my arms, relax, and not let the fact that my travel was delayed get to me.

I have to say, I really think this improved my experienced. I decided I would just relax and go with the flow. This was interesting to me and something I will most definitely try in other areas.


3. Things could be worse. This can sometimes be an annoying one to hear especially when things are really going badly but at the end of the day, things [usually] can always be worse.


Take my little extended stay in Charlotte... Sure, I was stuck in an airport overnight and I won't lie, there was a small moment when I got frustrated and could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but then I realized that this really was not all that bad. I had already been reassigned to a new flight and that flight was at 8am not 8pm the next day. Yes, my suitcase was separated from me for a couple of hours but I got it back just a few hours after my flight landed, not three days later. Yes, I slept on the floor but I had a pair of eye patches to block out the horribly bright airport light, had just bought a new travel pillow in Atlanta, and was wearing a maxi skirt that covered most of my body if I stretched it enough (yes, I was quite the sight). I was safe and would be alright.


4. Think through all your options. This one is a little embarrassing but I have to include it... I didn't realize until I had landed in Salt Lake early Friday morning that one of my best friends in Atlanta was at her parents lake house (which I knew) that is thirty minutes outside of Charlotte. Now, I knew she was headed to North Carolina, I knew she used to live in Charlotte herself, and I knew she was headed to their lake house for the Fourth. While I had no idea just how close she was going to be to Charlotte Thursday evening if I had thought through everything maybe the possibility of her being around would have crossed my mind.


So I made it to Salt Lake. And while I can't say that it happened without a hitch it happened. And after being in the city for a couple of hours the memory of my extended stay in North Carolina was a fleeting memory, but what I had seen and gleaned from it has stayed with me.

On being productive with little or no motivation

On Tuesday I, like a large portion of the country, was a ball of energy and nerves throughout the day as the USA vs. Germany World Cup game approached. Generally I am pretty good at channeling my excited energy (or at least aware of the need to do this, which is half the battle) but by 2pm I had, had enough.

My energy made me move quickly and by lunch I had knocked out all of my essential to-do list along with a solid chunk of items that really weren't needed until later in the week. I had plans to leave work a little early and watch the game with friends but I was mentally leaving my desk well over an hour before it was reasonably acceptable to bow out of the office.

 

So what did I do?

 

I put on my headphones, turned up Spotify, and took almost ten compliance assessments.

Why?

1. This kept me productive since these assessments needed to be completed
2. This didn't require tons of concentration and was virtually mindless
3. This seemed to speed the afternoon along

Not that a compliance assessment is something that you should do totally mindlessly. But when your energy is lagging or your head is in another place sometimes it's best to work on projects that require little critical thinking rather than pushing for something more rigorous.

Now, what to do this afternoon as the three day holiday weekend approaches... 

My first taste of solo international travel

I have a fair amount of solo travel, both domestic and international, planned for the rest of the year. And while I have flown, driven, trained -- you name it -- alone quite a bit I really haven't done much travel when I've been alone for the whole or even a good chunk of the main trip.


This past week I got my first taste at some limited solo international travel. I was in Punta Cana for my cousin's wedding Wednesday through Sunday. And while I spent a majority of time with family and friends, I spent a fair amount by myself as well. There were a few specific things I did alone that really got me thinking about my upcoming plans.  


Overall it made me even more excited for my other upcoming journeys but at the same time gave me a little bit of trepidation. What do I mean? Where here are some parts of my recent trip that really stood out.
 
The Arrival
There's something uniquely depressing about arriving in the airport of a resort city alone; most of the other people are either traveling in couples on a romantic getaway or in large friend groups or as families. It's one of those times when you're acutely aware that you're alone, even if you're going to literally be with tens of close family members within a matter of hours like I was.

Don't believe me? Think about that moment when you walk off a plane and feel the hot, beach air hit your face (or maybe it's cool, mountain air); you can't help but smile as you envision yourself basking in your vacation. But then you meet the very next moment when you normally would say to your travel companion(s), "I'm SO excited!!" That's when you realize it's just you.


Being off the grid
If you're traveling internationally and are being mindful of not incurring hundreds of dollars in data and messaging fees you probably use your phone a lot less. I had planned for this and wasn't all that worried about it. Though as I waited in line for immigration and watched everyone else chattering excitedly I found myself paralyzed. That is, my natural instinct to grab my phone and text a friend or open some social media or simply reload my email once more was unavailable to me.


At first it was striking how alone I felt without the security blanket of being in the middle of multiple text conversations with friends for company. Though this quickly became wonderfully freeing.


Staying at a hotel alone
The last thing that really stuck with me were the puzzled looks I repeatedly received when I told the hotel staff that it was "just me" when asked about the number of guests in my room. While this really only happened at check-in and check-out I did return to my hotel room each day and night alone.


The peace and quiet was often welcomed but there were some moments when I wished I was spending this downtime with a travel companion.


So what does all this mean? Should you be scared off from solo travel? No. It's certainly not for everyone but neither are skinny jeans or yoga (two things I personally enjoy very much).


Any kind of travel has wonderful moments but also some annoying and less than ideal ones; it's sort of part of it. Solo travel is no different. But at the end of the day every experience offers something to learn and cool challenges to overcome. So pack up your bags and pull up your big girl or boy pants and break out alone, or don't and just read about my travels here.

Learning to Listen More: Day 22 of an Atlanta Traffic Experiment

Last week I wrote about how I slid back slightly when my mom was visiting my a few weeks ago. I saw how my impatience impacted others and not really in a positive way (read about that here).  

This week I've noticed something on the other end of the spectrum, that is on a "positive/negative" spectrum. I've noticed that my heightened awareness of self has made me a better listener.

 

Yes, sure, it's just been three weeks so the duration of this experiment and this assessment might be a little loose. But in seemingly trivial conversations with friends and family and coworkers I have found myself much less interested in ensuring that my "story" or antidote gets voiced. Even with people I don't know all that way (e.g., on dates, meeting friends of friends) when it's necessary to share things about yourself I haven't been as concerned with it. Sure I still contribute to the conversation and share about myself but I don't have the sense that I have to share topic or thought XYZ immediately.

 

This made me consider how I engage in conversations. I once read something from a very talkative person (I forget who, no this "person" isn't me) who often found themselves thinking about what they'd say next during a conversation when the other person was talking rather than listening. While I don't think I've ever really done this fully I am sure a part of me has. I know there have been instances when I have had points or stories that I've wanted to bring up since I knew they would make my audience think or laugh or be happy; I'd get so excited about the prospect of the enjoyment and reaction of whomever I was engaging with that I am sure I unknowingly removed myself from the conversation a bit.

Even with the best of intentions focusing too much on what we're going to share or do next can significantly reduce a conversation or an experience and, paradoxically, make us share less.

Back Sliding? Day 14: An Atlanta Traffic Experiment

I was hoping to be posting more regularly on this but life has gotten in the way, as it often does.


Two weeks from the start of my little experiment I unfortunately have to report that I've felt that I've slid back a bit. What do I mean?


Well specifically last weekend when one of the greatest women on the planet (my mother) visited me in Atlanta I noticed myself getting quite agitated at times. Even after I caught myself in these moments and encouraged myself to keep my cool I seemed to still become irritated later on that day, once during the same 15 minute drive.


I also remember making a decided effort to not tell my mom I was blogging about this topic. Not that it's a secret or that she hasn't read my posts (hi mom!) but I think that I didn't want to be held accountable that weekend.


It was interesting.

Part of it makes me think about what some say, that we sometimes treat the people we love the most ,the most harshly because we know that they will always love us. Mothers seem to fall into this camp most since who can love us the way our mothers do? Others love us equally, sometimes more, but never that same way.


This is hugely unfair and something else to add to the laundry list of things to work on. But considering this and focusing back on my experiment in patience, I wonder if I simply wanted a break. From what? From having to hold my agitation in. From trying to improve myself. From being the best version of myself. It was as if with my mother's arrival in Georgia all that I wanted to do was revert back to being her child and being able to "lash out" since I knew that no matter what she'd love me.


It was an interestingly timed trip to say the least. Since just like it's unfair to treat our moms or others harsher because we know they will always love us, it's unfair for me to "decide" to regress on my patience experiment or anything else just because my mommy is in town and will love me and accept me.


While I wish I was more self-aware of this during the weekend I am happy that I can reflect on it now, since again, being aware of many things is step one. And with this reflection I can get back being patience and tolerant and keeping calm even when I encounter un-ideal or annoying things.